Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
