Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
