i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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