if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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