as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
