it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
