between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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