before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
