im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
