is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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