I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
