Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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