why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I forgot how hot balto sounded
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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