if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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