I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
