he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
