Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
