I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I still have a little drunk in my system
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
