so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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