Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
