Everything about him screamed your future.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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