$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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