I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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