i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
