i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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