I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
