dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
