the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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