You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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