As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
