She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
