At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
