Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
be right there i have to get my cape
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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