Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
