Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
