I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
