I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
