i think i have herpe
just one?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
