did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
