He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
