O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
