I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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