dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
