just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
