smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
