I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
