so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
