"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
