if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
