is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
