I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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