Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
