Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
