I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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