Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
